Quotes vs Reality

Whenever I scroll through Instagram, Facebook or flipping book pages, I always come across some wonderful quotes that instantly affects my mood in a positive way. I take it very serious and try to keep them in mind whenever I am having a bad day. Some of them have such powerful effect on me that I sometimes wonder if that feels the same for others. But some quotes make everything sound so cliché and impossible to achieve in real life like “don’t stress, do your best, forget the rest” like brah why didn’t I think of that? lol. But the right ones actually make you THINK and analyze it with your own real experiences in life. Today I would like to share my favorite quotes and how it blended in with my reality.

1．“In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart”- Anne Frank

(Юу ч болж байсан би хүн төрөлхтнийг сайн сайхан зүрх сэтгэлтэй гэж итгэх хэвээрээ байх болно - Аннэ Франк)

There isn’t a single person who has not heard of Anne Frank before, maybe we have heard a small glimpse of the real story from others or we all read her book diary. However, how many of us really took the words of Anne Frank into heart and live your life trying to remember it? How many of you agreed with every word of a 14-year-old Jewish girl who went through the worst fear of life with such powerful optimism and strength until her last breath? Even though I read the book a hundred times, I still couldn’t imagine the slightest version of her real pain. But we could try to remember her messages and try to see the beauty of it no matter how ugly our reality might get. Some of us are still so young, there are so much we haven’t seen, felt and experienced yet and I am so excited and terrified of what might come my way in the future as all of you might be feeling the same. I will meet many people along the way, I might like them or not be appreciated as I would like to be by others but no matter what their story is I will CHOOSE to believe that they are still GOOD AT HEART. We were all born with pure innocence and kindness in this world with no knowledge of evil and selfishness. It might get faded away with time but even so, I want to believe that it is never completely demolished.

I want to share a true story that happened many years ago. I knew this boy from my class who was just unreasonably so cruel and mean to everyone. He would hang out with other jerks who say mean things to girls that would kill their confidence and make them burst into tears. He would try so hard to look like a jerk because somehow that was seen as “attractive” to some people. His ego was so big that he looked like he has not cared for anyone but himself in his entire life. But one day, I was walking on the street and saw him on the other side of the road helping these elders with their heavy package and just being this completely different and kind person than how he presents himself to others. I was so surprised that I wondered if I recognized him right. It turns out he did have some decency in his heart but he just didn’t want to show that to others. When I saw him again in class, he went back to being the same old jerk all over again. I don’t know what his reason or motivations were but goodness and kindness should never be something to hide from others. I heard from somewhere that maybe some people are just afraid that if they showed their pure side, they would be giving away their weakness to others or something but as another Anne Frank quote said “Nobody is ever poor by giving”. Just like that nobody is ever weak for being a good person and you will see why if you give it a try so don’t be afraid of being vulnerable and kind sometimes. Don’t be afraid of giving people chances and trying to believe in the goodness of others. Don’t be afraid of treating everyone kindly and don’t hesitate to listen to or being heard by others. Human life is a precious gift we are all lucky enough to receive so why would we want to waste it being an asshole? Just think about it, that person that you hate or think is worthless or unkind, they might have a way different story than you think and might completely blow you away once you get to know them. We really should stop judging each other unless we know the whole story because that is just not cool anymore. Because kindness is the new sexy to me and it always has been. All we need is a little effort and faith in each other and we will see for sure if that will be a lesson or a blessing in the future. 

2. “I am not scared of a man who knows 1000 moves, I am scared of a man who practices one move a 1000 times” – Bruce Lee

(Би 1000 мэх мэддэг хүнээс айдаггүй, би нэг мэxээ 1000 давтдаг хүнээс л айдаг. -Бруйс Лий)

Practice makes it perfect! How true is this? I always used to believe that people were only “supposed” to do what they are good at or what is “expected” of them without ever approving the fact that they could get better at something if they tried their best. This is a typical stereotype that will always run in our society but it needs to be viewed in a different direction because many people live their livesin fear without ever trying to do something they love since no one would expect a successful result from them. When I was in the 1st year of university, all the new international students were supposed to start learning the Japanese language from the foundation level. Since I went to a Japanese high school, I already knew the basics before entering university. All the other international students did not have a single clue of what the language is about or how they were going to learn it. All though, my Japanese was just as rough, I did have some confidence compared to the ones who were starting from zero levels. As time passed by, the ones who had the most difficult time learning Japanese were working 10 times harder than the other students who were already familiar with the basics. Even so, people thought that they could never pass the class with an A-plus because that was just seen not possible and that is the ugly and harsh truth of how we underestimate each other. However by the end of semester, the ones who started from the bottom ended the course with the highest grade of them all. We were all so speechless and proud or confused at the same time and asked them how they could receive the perfect score in such a short amount of time and one of them said: “I just kept practicing”. Underestimating someone based on the overestimation of yourself will only lower your effort and passion to be more than you already are (and this one is by me lol). So we always have to think “I am not better than anyone but I am not worse than anyone either”. That way we could learn from others while not devaluing ourselves and realize the true advantage of putting in the actual effort to achieve something. So do not listen to your ego dysfunction and just do your best without ever looking for an easy way out. Easy come easy go, things that are accomplished with no effort will never give you a long-term benefit. Trust me!

3. “A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy, a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.” – Maya Angelou

(Ухаалаг эмэгтэй хэний ч дайсан байхыг хүсдэггүй, ухаалаг эмэгтэй хэний ч хохирогч байхаас татгалзана. - Маяа Анжелоу)

This quote of Maya Angelou made me think a lot on how I handle myself with other people in different situations. Do I always try to win the argument and just cannot be the bigger person and walk away? Do I always naively believe that everyone is so kind and innocent and expect the best in people only to feel the worst? This all has to do with how I want to manage my mind and heart with others. What I took for mistake was that how I deal with other people had nothing to do with their way of behaving. Since I cannot control others, the only control I had was the way I handled myself. There is nothing worse than having a conflict with someone when you feel like you haven’t done anything wrong. There is also nothing worse than being taken for granted or taken advantage by others when all you have been doing was be kind. I guess we believe what we want to believe and refuse to absorb anything along the way because we hate being wrong. But a wise person knows that if something is not worth it, it is better to just be calm and walk away without ever trying to prove yourself to others. Even if it was worth it, will it matter 5 years, months or hours from now on? Think about that. A wise person knows who they are surrounding themselves with. If they don’t like their surroundings, they would do something about it without ever having to regret it later on.

This quote makes me think of my mom. I am not just saying this because she is my mom but growing up with a role model like that, she instantly became the single person who I wish I could be half as good as someday. She is an artist, a writer and a public figure in Mongolia, like every other talented artist, she always had to go through unnecessary drama, criticisms, jealousy, and competition even when she was just minding her own business but that was just one part of her job. No matter who tried to bring her down, had conflict or started an unnecessary competition with her, she was always the bigger person and would just keep doing what she was doing. Maybe it hurt her or maybe she never cared but she never gave in any negativity towards such pointless situations or people and that also never stopped her from being a good person. With an inch of patience and wisdom, she removed all of her enemies who would try to bring her down and turned them all into her allies. Everybody started admiring her for her strength and patience that they wanted to learn where that came from. Eventually, her kindness started to make changes for others and they realized after all they were the ones who were acting unreasonable and drowning in their own negativity. I see that quality in many other people and I admire their wisdom and compassion because that is not easy to find in others and most definitely not easy to build in ourselves. 

4. “Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard” – Coldplay (The Scientist) 

(Хэн ч үүнийг амар байна гэж хэлээгүй, гэхдээ хэн ч бас ийм хэцүү байна гэж хэлээгүй. - Колд Плэйе хамтлаг)

I would like to quote my favorite lyrics from my all-time favorite band of this planet, The Coldplay. I can’t begin to explain how great they are or what it is about them that I love so much but their music just makes me so happy, peaceful and speaks to my heart and mind whenever I listen to them. I love all of their songs and every word is so unique and powerful to me. This part from their song “The scientist” made many bad days in my life into something brighter. When things didn’t go as planned or as expected I would remind myself that I knew it wasn’t supposed to be perfect so why am I complaining? I expected it. But at the same time, we have to defend ourselves sometimes and think that how it would have been so much easier if someone was there to let us know the true and harsh reality of our situation. Nothing is certain in this world, nothing has to be solely 100 % your fault but you don’t have to blame others either. Sometimes things just go on at their own pace, in their own time and own cycle and we just have to wait for our turn without trying to make everything work out perfectly as we wanted. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be but that also doesn't mean we have to stop working hard towards it. One of my biggest dreams in life where I close my eyes and imagine every night is to sit in the front row seat of Coldplay concert and sing and scream my heart out to all of their songs. I know it will come true, I truly believe it because I will work hard for it and I am waiting for that day and I will keep believing that it will happen in its own time, pace and turn.

Other Coldplay lyrics that are too beautiful to be not appreciated

- “When you try your best but you don’t succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need” (Fix you)

- “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you and all the things that you do” (Yellow)

-  “When she was just a girl she expected the world but it flew away from her reach. So she ran away in her sleep.” (Paradise)

- “Every step that you take could be your biggest mistake. It could bend or it could break. But that’s the risk that you have to take.” (What if)

- “Just because I’m losing, doesn’t mean I’m lost” (Lost)

5. “You know you are on the road to success when you would do a job and not be paid for it” – Oprah Winfrey

(Чи хийж байгаа ажлаа ямар ч цалин өгөхгүй байсан ч хийнээ гэж байгаа бол амжилтанд хүрэх замдаа явж байнаа гэсэн үг - Опра Винфрэе)

OKAY, some of you are definitely saying BULLSHIT right now, like who would want to work without getting paid? But back up a sec! This is actually the deepest and the realest expression of how connecting your passion and goal would be the single most important step for long-term success. I watched a Ted talk about an interview from bunch of successful people on how they achieved their success. It covered a lot of individual stories and different point of views but all of them had one thing in common. It was that they were all doing something that they LOVE. As much as it may sound easy we all know how it is so difficult to find our true passion. There has to be something that we enjoy doing, big or small it doesn’t matter but we will never find out unless we keep trying different things in life to challenge ourselves so that we can select our passion from our experiences. Oprah started working for money when she was just 14 years old, babysitting and cleaning houses of others who did not appreciate how she was doing more than she was asked. So she left and did several other jobs but she still had to force herself up to get up in the morning and go for work. When she started working at the radio station at 17, she had a spark in her eyes and it was the time she realized how money was not the factor for her to work hard towards something. She said to herself “Even if they never paid me, I will be here every morning on time and ready to work and contribute as much as I could” because that is how much passion and liberty she had found for herself. In the Ted video I mentioned about, all the other successful individuals agreed on how they just had to keep doing what they really enjoy  and if you do that, money would keep coming anyway. However, our true interest and motivation to get up hungry for good results and hard work will not come that easily if we keep doing something we never really like.

When I saw this quote it reminded me of my high school teachers and mentors. I graduated from a Japanese high school in Mongolia named “Shine Mongol” where the school system and structure would implement of those with normal Japanese education values. All my teachers and mentors and the school creators worked their heart off every single day with full on energy and enthusiasm trying to improve the overall quality of young students in Mongolia. They had a hope to embrace the educational values of the young future generation and they divided their vision into small goals with the right attitude and commitments. By learning from such highly skilled and kind-hearted mentors, we didn’t have any choice but to try our best and work together to achieve that long-term vision. I always thought that they did not care how much salary they got, the satisfaction for them was to guide their students and see them succeed and accomplish their goals. Every time, we make any kind of achievements, they would be way happier than us and encourage or support us with their kind words and wisdom. If we made a mistake, they would yell and tell us the harsh truths like our own parents. They would cry when it was our time to say goodbye and graduate and hope to see a visit from us even after we leave the school because that is how much they love and do their job involved with true feelings. That part was not something they get paid for but something they did out of passion and interest. For that, I am forever grateful and wish to do my responsibility with the same effort and satisfaction in the future because that is how it will touch others heart and create a real value.

Just over 3 mins TED talk I mentioned above. MUST WATCH

Well, I guess that is it for this time. I truly enjoy how pouring out my thoughts into words make me feel so productive and stress-free lately and the best part is, there are people who actually said it was something they needed as well and nothing made these notes worthier than that. Since I think and write so much in my own notebooks about whatever I feel might be useful, this is also becoming a simple hobby of mine I would love to take on for the public view and wish to get it delivered to anybody who cares or needs it. I will appreciate it so much if you could keep up the support system and give me any thoughts, suggestions, and comments for it to be as effective as possible! Again, thank you so so much for reading and I truly hope it gave you the motivation you were looking for. Keep doing what makes you happy!

Love, Amy.